A RAINBOW HOLIDAY


by


Lori Sigrist and Joe Simonelli


This play of acceptance and inclusiveness is set at Thanksgiving at the home of Maggie Anderson and Jerry Collins. Maggie is expecting her gay son Adam and his new boyfriend (also named Adam) for the Holiday. What she is not expecting is a surprise visit from her fundamentalist daughter and her new husband. Maggie must walk an hilarious tightrope in order not to offend either of her children, who seldom see eye to eye on any issues. Add to the mix Jerry's married daughter and her husband, who are going through a crisis of their own, and the table is set for both laughter and tears. 


EXCERPTS

Cast of Characters:

 

Maggie  Anderson ( 45 to mid 50’s)

 

Jerry Collins  - Maggie’s boyfriend (45 to mid 50’)

 

Adam Anderson - Maggie’s son (late 20’s/early 30’s)

 

Adam Kent - Adam’s  boyfriend (late 20’s/early 30’s)

 

Allison Boyer - Maggie’s daughter, Adam’s sister (mid-to late 20’s)

 

Daniel Boyer - Allison’s husband (mid to late 20’s)

 

Julie Mason - Jerry’s daughter (late 20’s/early 30’s)

 

Mark Mason - Julie’s husband (early 30’s)

 

 

 

                                                                         

 

 

ACT I

Scene 1

 

 

SETTING:       Present day. The living room of Maggie Anderson and Jerry Collins.

Typical living room setting with desk and chair stage left. Larger chair stage right. Exit to kitchen and other rooms stage left.  Front door stage right. Middle of stage where couch would be is long table decorated for Thanksgiving Dinner.

 

AT RISE:         Maggie Anderson enters with dishware and silverware and starts setting table.

                          Jerry enters with napkins and decorative items and helps set table.

 

 

JERRY

It’s really starting to smell great in that kitchen! I love the aroma of Thanksgiving cooking..

 

                                                                        MAGGIE

 Isn’t it wonderful?   It’s going to be a very traditional Thanksgiving this year.  Adam tells me that the other Adam will eat anything.  So, no gluten free. Dairy is OK.  Everybody eats meat.  No issues with sugar.  It’s a pleasure to cook for people who don’t eat healthy.

 

JERRY

Yeah. No Tofurkey this year. No kale.  Thank God. Mashed potatoes...gravy...pie.  It’s going to be a wonderful Thanksgiving.  I think I like Adam’s boyfriend already.  Any millennial willing to eat meat and pie with whipped cream is OK in my book!   You know what is going to get confusing though? 

 

MAGGIE

No, what?

 

JERRY

Adam and Adam’s boyfriend are both named Adam.  How are we going to differentiate?

 

 

MAGGIE

Well, we could use my Adam’s middle name I guess. No...he’d never answer.   Or Adam 1 and Adam 2? No that’s no good...

 

 

 

JERRY

I’ve got it!  We could refer to Adam’s boyfriend as Adam squared…

 

MAGGIE

Oh I’m sure he’d love that but it might work!  With all his world traveling, I can’t believe my Adam will finally be here this year for Thanksgiving. You know it’s been three Thanksgivings that he’s been abroad and now he’s coming home and bringing his boyfriend for us to meet.  I’m nervous and excited all at the same time.

(LOUD THUNDERCLAP)

 

(Maggie looks out window)

 

I hope their flight wasn’t delayed because of this rain.  Imagine...thunderstorms in November. Crazy weather.

 

JERRY

Just be glad it isn’t snow and don’t be nervous, it will all be fine.  I’m sure Adam squared is a great kid. Your Adam is a great kid so I’m sure he picked a partner who is as terrific as he is.  I’m just relieved that..

 

MAGGIE

That what?

 

JERRY

That your daughter Allison and her husband Daniel aren’t visiting until after Adam and his boyfriend have gone home. I won’t have to watch my curse words and we won’t have to referee a theological debate between Daniel, Allison and Adam. There won’t be any awkward moments and I won’t have to see you get all stressed out trying to keep the peace.   I like my fireworks on the fourth of July, not Thanksgiving.

 

 

MAGGIE

I know. I love them all, but  If they were all here for the holiday, I don’t know what I’d do.  I think I’d have to hide in the attic until everyone left.  Or you’d find me under this dining room table with a glass and a bottle of Chablis.  You know for the life of me, I don’t know how this happened.

 

 

JERRY

How what happen?

 

MAGGIE

How did I have two children, from the same gene pool, grow up to be so totally different? How did I end up with a gay son and a Fundamentalist Christian daughter?  I raised them the same, taught them the same. I don’t get it.  Maybe because they didn’t have a dad in their early years.  Their dad died so young they don’t even remember him.  It was just the three of us for a long time, before you came along.   They used to be so similar, but now, they are polar opposites.  There must have been something I could have done to make them accept each other’s choices.

 

JERRY

Nonsense!  You did a great job raising both of them by yourself.  They are both terrific people.  They’re just very different and believe very different things.  That could have happened even if their dad was alive. It could have happened no matter their upbringing.  Look at my two boys, I was around for them even after Jane and I divorced, and one is a lawyer and the other is a convict!  It happens.  You have two great kids, they just don’t see eye to eye on religion or lifestyle, that’s not your fault.

 

MAGGIE

Your boys are very different that’s true, but your Julie, what a sweet girl she is.   And she and I have always gotten along really well. That’s not always the case with daughters and their dad’s significant other.  It’s nice she and Mark will be able to join us this year.  

 

JERRY

Julie adores you.  She always has. I think she and Mark wanted to go someplace this Thanksgiving where everyone isn’t going to nag them about having kids. We won’t even mention it to them.  I think Julie is feeling very pressured by her mother to have children.  When I talked to her yesterday, she seemed very subdued and a little sad.  I don’t think she’s ready for kids yet and she’s afraid to say so.   And I’m not ready to be a grandfather yet!  Besides I’m still paying off my baby girl’s wedding.

 

MAGGIE

Oh come on...that was five years ago! 

 

                                                                        JERRY

Hey! It was expensive!

 

                                                                        MAGGIE

You just never got used to her actually growing up and getting married.

 

                                                                       

 

 

KNOCK ON DOOR

 

MAGGIE

Oh that’s them!

(Maggie opens door.  Her son Adam and his boyfriend Adam step in.  Both young men are well dressed and are carrying an umbrella, flowers and a box of cake/cookies.  There are hugs between Maggie’s son Adam and herself and Adam Anderson and Jerry.)

 

ADAM ANDERSON

Mom, Jerry this is Adam. (introduces Adam Kent to Maggie and Jerry) and this is my mom Maggie and her boyfriend Jerry.

 

Handshakes, hugs and greetings all around.

 

                                                                        MAGGIE

I’m so glad you could be with us for Thanksgiving  Adam and I’m so glad you could finally come home for the holiday. (indicating her son).

 

ADAM ANDERSON

Well I’m glad you guys decided to skip Florida this year and have a traditional Thanksgiving at home.  But this rain is something!  We were afraid we were going to have to circle around Kennedy all afternoon.

 

ADAM KENT

We’re so happy to be able to be with you this year.  Otherwise, I would have had to cook dinner and believe me, no one wants that.   Adam has told me you always made the holidays special when he and Allison were kids.

 

MAGGIE

Yes, well I tried to.  We didn’t always have a lot of money, but the holidays were always special for us.

 

JERRY

Come on in and have a seat.  What can I get you guys to drink?  White wine, juice, water, something harder?

 

ADAM ANDERSON and ADAM KENT (in unison)

 

Wine!

 

JERRY

Coming right up!  Do you want any wine hon?

 

MAGGIE

No wine.  There is no need for it this year. This is going to be a stress free Thanksgiving. (LOUD THUNDERCLAP)  Maybe a little juice though.

 

JERRY

You got it!

 

 (Jerry exits stage left)

 

 

Both Adams sit on couch, Maggie on chair stage right.

 

MAGGIE

Did you have a bumpy flight in?

 

ADAM ANDERSON

It was fine.  We were a little delayed in Dallas and there were warnings about the weather here.  We had to wait to land, but it wasn’t that bad.

 

ADAM KENT

 I told Adam we should have stopped in to visit Allison while we were there in Texas so I could meet her and her husband but he said they probably weren’t home.  Are they flying in later?

 

(Maggie and Adam Anderson exchange an uncomfortable glance).

 

MAGGIE

No, um, Allison and her husband will be visiting after Thanksgiving

 

ADAM ANDERSON

Yeah, I told you they usually spend Thanksgiving with Daniel’s family.

 

ADAM KENT

Oh, I thought you said they go out of their way to go wherever your mom and Jerry are for the holidays and (to Maggie) that they’ve flown to Florida the last few years to be with you.  You know, because Adam is always abroad and can’t come for the holidays and…(voice trails off)

 

 

ADAM ANDERSON

Um, you know, I told you how she and Daniel are.  They are very religious and I’m not sure if, I don’t know if, I didn’t want you to feel uncomfortable!  I mean Allison is still bothered by the fact that Mom and Jerry live together without being married.

 

ADAM KENT

(To Maggie) They wouldn’t come because Adam and I would be here?

 

MAGGIE

NO! No, not at all...they... don’t know you are here. 

 

 

 

 

ADAM ANDERSON

Mom and I just thought it might be easier for everyone if we came for the holidays at different times, so she encouraged them to spend Thanksgiving with Daniel’s family and come here ...after, after we had gone back home. 

 

ADAM KENT

Oh. I see.

 

ADAM ANDERSON

 

Mom, did you get the video I sent you of the new house? 

 

MAGGIE

Yes, I did...it’s lovely. 

 

ADAM ANDERSON

 

We were so lucky to find it and in such a great neighborhood.  California is so expensive but you can’t beat the weather and it’s close to our jobs.

 

MAGGIE

I can’t wait to see it in person one of these days.  You’ve been abroad for so long, I’m just glad to have you stateside again even if it is 3,000 miles away.

 

ADAM KENT

Just a short flight away.  Did Adam show you pictures of the back yard? 

 

MAGGIE

 

Yes he did.  Are you going to plant a garden?  Organic vegetables?

 

ADAM KENT and ADAM ANDERSON

Oh God no! 

 

 

 

 

ADAM KENT

That’s what Whole Foods is for.  Besides we don’t really eat organic all the time although we have friends who are adamant about their produce.  No, we might throw some flowers in but mostly it will be a place for Bradley to run around.

 

MAGGIE

 

Oh my Grand puppy!  He is the cutest thing! 

 

(Jerry returns with a tray of wine glasses and a bottle of wine and a glass of juice)

 

JERRY

 

Here we are everyone!  You sure you don’t want some wine honey? (he distributes the wine and juice to everyone)

 

MAGGIE

No juice is fine Jer.  The boys were just telling me about their new house.  You were wrong, they aren’t planting a garden in the back.  It’s just for Bradley to play in.

 

JERRY

No garden?  But I was sure you’d be planting stuff...I mean…I just assumed...you know...

 

ADAM ANDERSON

(jokingly)  Just because we are gay Jerry, doesn’t mean we automatically like digging in the dirt and planting things. 

 

ADAM KENT

Absolutely not!  We’ll pay someone to do it. 

 

JERRY

You know, it’s a shame you guys are only staying over one night.  If you were here longer, we could have gone and seen a play in the city...maybe even a musical!

 

ADAM KENT and ADAM ANDERSON

(looking at each other before replying with humor)

Nah...we really don’t like theatre. We hate theatre actually.

 

JERRY

(to Maggie in surprise)

They don’t like theatre?!

 

MAGGIE

Well, it’s not just for gays anymore you know…

 

(Laughter from both Adams and Maggie)

 

 

JERRY

(a little embarrassed) Sorry...I guess I’m stereotyping a little bit.  But I’ve never met a gay guy who didn’t love theatre!!  I apologize…

 

 

 

ADAM ANDERSON

No! I understand.  It’s like Adam and I assuming because you are a baby boomer you aren’t up on the latest technology!

 

MAGGIE

Well you’d be correct there Adam, he isn’t!

 

JERRY

Hey that’s not true!  I just got my first smart phone didn’t I?

 

ADAM ANDERSON

You did?  I am impressed!  Good for you!

 

JERRY

I’m not.  The damn thing terrifies me.  You think you can help me with it later?

 

ADAM KENT

Of course we can.

 

ADAM ANDERSON

Don’t offer Adam...you’ll be sorry….Jerry, we’re just kidding with you.  We like theatre, but we also like football!

 

JERRY

(clearly relieved)...You do!  Well that’s great to hear!

 

 

(a knock on the door,  Jerry gets up to answer it)

 

That must be Julie and Mark.

 

 

(Jerry opens door to find Maggie’s daughter Allison and her husband Daniel standing there with umbrellas and holding bags with groceries)

JERRY

Hey Jul….Allison and Daniel?!

 

 

ALLISON AND DANIEL (in unison)

Surprise!  Happy Thanksgiving!

 

MAGGIE

Allison! Daniel!

 

ALLISON

We couldn’t break from tradition!! We always spend Thanksgiving with you!

 

 

(Adam and Adam exchanged looks. )

 

MAGGIE

Um, well… come on in...look Jerry, look who’s here!

 

(Allison sees her brother Adam and rushes over to hug him when she sees Adam Kent.)

 

ALLISON

I didn’t know you were going to be here...Oh...hello...

 

ADAM ANDERSON

Oh, this is my sister Allison.  Allison, this is Adam Kent.

 

ALLISON

Nice to meet you Adam.  This is my husband Daniel.

 

ADAM KENT

So nice to meet you both. 

 

JERRY

Allison!  Daniel!  What a surprise!! Look honey!  It’s Allison and Daniel!

 

 

 

 

MAGGIE

I know Jerry!  Isn’t that something?  Well, come on in...let me take your coats...have a seat… Wow!  This is quite a surprise!  Isn’t it Jerry?  Such a surprise!!  Do you want some juice?  I’ll get you some juice.

 

JERRY

I’ll get it..

 

MAGGIE

Oh no you won’t…(rather forcefully sits Jerry down in the nearest chair) you just sit down there with the kids. What a surprise, huh Jerry?   I’ll get the juice...Julie and Mark should be here any minute. 

 

(As an aside to Jerry)

 

Is there another bottle of wine back there?

 

JERRY

Yeah, you know there’s two more but…

 

MAGGIE

Oh thank God!

JERRY

(dejected)

Are we back to tofu turkey now?

 

(Maggie waves him off as she exits to kitchen. The others find seats as conversation ensues.)

 

ALLISON

Can you believe this weather?  I’ve never seen thunderstorms roll in and out like this.  One minute the sun is out, the next there’s thunder and lightning and it’s pouring.

 

JERRY

(to Allison)

You do realize your mom thought you were having Thanksgiving with Daniel’s family so she made this huge, real turkey with stuffing and gravy and sugared yams...and pie

 

ADAM ANDERSON

Allison and Daniel are on very special diets,  no meat, no dairy, no gluten, no sugar…

 

 

ADAM KENT

No fun.

 

 

 

ALLISON

 We are just very careful about what we put in our bodies.  Only things the good Lord has put on this earth that grow from the ground. 

 

DANIEL

Or the trees.  We eat only the things our Lord has created.  Nothing artificial.  The animals are a gift from God so we don’t eat them either.

 

ADAM KENT

So no turkey? No stuffing? No cranberry sauce that’s shaped like the can?

 

JERRY

(distraught) and no...pie.

 

ALLISON

Oh don’t worry Jerry, we brought our own food.  You guys eat whatever mom has made.  I might partake of a roll or two myself.

 

DANIEL

White flour and gluten, honey…

 

 

ALLISON

Oh yeah that’s right….no rolls then. It’s fine though because we brought sprouted bread for Daniel and I.

 

JERRY

I don’t even want to know what that is.

 

DANIEL

(Addressing Adam Kent)

So Adam...hey that’s funny, you’re both Adam!  Do you live in California too?  Do you guys work together or something?

 

(Adam Kent starts to answer but Adam Anderson interrupts)

 

ADAM ANDERSON

Oh Adam and I live in the same neighborhood. 

 

 

 

ADAM KENT

What?

 

ALLISON

Oh that’s nice Adam (directed to her brother) that you brought your neighbor here for Thanksgiving.

 

ADAM KENT

Neighbor? 

 

ADAM ANDERSON

Uh...Hey Adam, let’s see if my mom needs any help in the kitchen…

 

(Adam pulls Adam to his feet and both Adams exit toward the kitchen.  Adam Anderson is followed closely by Adam Kent)

 

ADAM KENT

Okay...sure….neighbor!

 

JERRY

Well hey, you two, you both look great! This is such a surprise! How have you both been?

 

DANIEL

We are doing well.  God has been good to us.

 

 

JERRY

He has?  Well, yeah...that’s great.

 

(knock on door  - Jerry goes to answer door.  Enter Julie, Jerry’s daughter and her husband Mark)

 

Hey!  It’s my baby girl! 

 

(Hugs all around as they greet Allison and Daniel who they already know.  It is apparent from their entrance that something is amiss.  Julie looks distraught although she tries to hide it and Mark looks distracted.  Periodically throughout the scene, Mark checks his cell phone and Julie watches him as he does so.)

 

Enter Maggie and both Adams re enter room with glasses.  All but two are filled with wine. Maggie greets Julie and Mark and starts handing out the glasses. The two filled with orange juice are handed to Allison and Daniel.

 

JERRY

(To Julie, a bit concerned)  Hey baby girl everything Ok?

 

JULIE

(putting on a brave face)  Oh sure dad, everything is fine, just fine.  Thanks for having me, I mean us, over today.

 

JERRY

Well, your mom always seems to get you for the big holidays.  I’m glad you decided to give old dad a turn this year.

 

MAGGIE

Well this is just wonderful!  Wonderful having you all here!  Jerry will you do the honors?

 

JERRY

Certainly! Certainly! 

(Raises glass to perform a toast.  The others follow although Julie and Adam Kent are the last to raise their glasses)

 

Here’s to our wonderful families and to us all being here together in love and celebration of this Thanksgiving Day!

 

( Adam Anderson, Daniel, Allison, Mark, Jerry and Maggie touch glasses while toasting and freeze in place.  Julie and Adam Kent are on opposites ends of the stage.  At the same time they turn to face the audience.  Julie takes out tissue from her bag and starts sobbing.  Adam Kent looks unhappy and exasperated and takes a huge gulp of his wine)

 

(Thunderclap…)

 

 

BLACKOUT

 

 

ACT I

Scene 2

 

  Both Adams are standing outside the house under an umbrella or in hoodies.  Adam Kent is smoking a cigarette.  Both are holding their wine glasses.  This can be staged off to the side of the stage with a spot while the rest of the stage containing the inside of the home is dimly lit  or it can be staged in front of the actual stage itself with curtain closed.

 

ADAM KENT

I can’t believe you!  I really can’t.

 

ADAM ANDERSON

I’m sorry!  I really am sorry!  But you don’t know my sister and her husband. 

 

ADAM KENT

They seem OK to me. What were you thinking saying I’m your neighbor?   Are you ashamed of me?  Of us?

 

ADAM ANDERSON

No! Of course not!  I’m not ashamed of anything it’s just…

 

ADAM KENT

Just what?  What?  We live in the same neighborhood?  Yeah, please meet my neighbor Adam.  We live in the same neighborhood and I brought him all the way from California for Thanksgiving.  Because that’s the kind of neighbor I am!  Really Adam?  Does your sister not know you’re gay?

 

ADAM ANDERSON

Yes, of course she does.  But she doesn’t want to hear anything about my life and she certainly doesn’t want to know anything about my sex life! She likes to pretend that I just have friends.  You know…

 

ADAM KENT

What?  Like a roommate?

 

 

ADAM ANDERSON

Well, yeah.  Like a roommate.  Then she doesn’t have to acknowledge that anything sexual is going on.

 

 

 

ADAM KENT

What?  Oh I see.  The platonic roommate.  Then she doesn’t have to imagine us doing non-heterosexual things to each other?  You didn’t even make me the roommate.  I’m a neighbor, across the road, around the corner, two streets over!  You didn’t even put me in the house!  As I recall my name is on the deed of that house we just bought together.  I’m not even in the house.  And our dog...our dog!  I don’t even have the dog, across the road, around the corner, two streets over! (takes a long drag of a cigarette)

 

ADAM ANDERSON

I didn’t say you lived around the corner or two streets over.  You know I wish you wouldn’t smoke.  You only smoke when you’re upset.

 

ADAM KENT

I’m sorry, that’s not very neighborly is it. (blows smoke at Adam) Too bad.

 

 

ADAM ANDERSON

I’m sorry babe, I really am.  It was the first thing that popped in my head.  I’ll fix it, I promise.  It’s just she’s my baby sister and she and I were very close our entire childhood.  Then we got to be teens and I fell in love with boys and she fell in love with Jesus.

 

ADAM KENT

I know.  You told me.  But maybe if you gave her half a chance.  Her and Daniel, maybe they are more accepting than you think.

 

ADAM ANDERSON

Oh no.  They are hard core Fundamentalist Christians.  I am a sinner and so are you.  We are doomed to eternity in hell.

 

ADAM KENT

I don’t believe in eternity or hell.  And you don’t either.

 

 

ADAM ANDERSON

I know. Don’t worry, I ‘ll clear this up.  I’ll tell them both.

 

 

ADAM KENT

We’ll tell them.  Unless you think it’s better if you tell them alone.  But I don’t think it’s right.  We’re together and we should present a united front.  It’s not like their accepting or not accepting us is going to make any difference anyway.  Sheesh.  It’s usually the parents that are the tough ones, not siblings.  Jerry and your mom have accepted us with open arms.

 

ADAM ANDERSON

Jerry liked you the minute he knew you ate pie.

And my mom has always had a open mind. She just wants everyone to be happy.  She accepts people for who they are.  She knows life is too short to spend it judging other people.  It bothers her though when Allison and I disagree.  That’s why I want to do this carefully. 

 

 

ADAM KENT

Okay, okay…

 

ADAM ANDERSON

Now put that smelly thing out…

 

(Julie appears and walks towards the two Adams.  She is clutching a tissue and digging through her purse, she pulls out a broken cigarette from her bag)

 

JULIE

Damn it!  That was my last one.

(Both Adams notice her and she looks up at them startled.  Adam Kent holds out his pack of cigarettes.  She take one and Adam Kent lights it for her. She nods her thanks.)

 

JULIE

Sorry, I didn’t know anyone was outside.

 

ADAM ANDERSON

And when did you start smoking Jules?

 

JULIE

(sadly and slightly bitter) It’s a recent development. 

 

 

ADAM ANDERSON

Hey Julie, are you OK?  You look kinda upset..  Everything is OK right?  Is Mark OK?

 

JULIE

(takes a drag on cigarette) Is Mark OK? (scoffs) I’d say my husband  is doing just fine.

 

 

ADAM KENT

Oh boy, this doesn’t sound good.

 

JULIE

I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to disturb you two.  You looked like you were having a pretty intense conversation yourselves.  I just needed some air. (to Adam Anderson)  You know I love your sister Adam, but she puts Mark and me up on a pedestal of marital bliss.  She always has a million questions for me because she thinks I have all the answers, but I have no advice for her today.  And I don’t want to be asked when I plan to have a baby, you know?

 

ADAM ANDERSON

Yeah, that’s gotta be annoying.  Daniel and Allison are still newlyweds so she looks to you because you’ve been married for a while now. But it’s probably very unpleasant to have everyone bug you about having a baby when it’s just not happening for you yet.

 

JULIE

It’s never going to happen.

 

ADAM ANDERSON

Oh, you don’t know that for sure…

 

JULIE

Oh yes I do.  Because Mark and I will never have sex again.

 

ADAM KENT

Oh boy!

 

JULIE

Mark is cheating on me.  He’s been cheating on me all along.  He probably cheated on me during our wedding reception.

 

ADAM KENT

Oh boy!

 

ADAM ANDERSON

Are you certain Jules?

 

JULIE

Yeah.  I’m certain.  At first it was just a gut feeling, you know?  I kept rationalizing his behavior.   The nights he had to work late, but when I called his office, he didn’t answer the phone. I thought, oh he’s just so busy and he wants to get it all done so he can come home to me. Suddenly he had “business events” he couldn’t bring me to anymore. Business trips he had to go on alone. All the poker games he supposedly went to with his buddies to “relieve his stress” but then I’d see one of them and ask how the card game went the other night and they’d be like “what game?….oh, oh yeah... that game.  Yeah it was fine, Mark broke even.”  Covering for their buddy.  I never questioned them. You can rationalize anything away if you want to.  You just make sure you don’t hear what you don’t want to hear.

 

ADAM ANDERSON

Wow, Jules...

 

 

JULIE

Then I started finding weird things.  An earring I didn’t recognize.  A pair of underwear under my bed I knew wasn’t mine.  I knew it but I started thinking..”did I buy these and forget?”  The final straw was when I was gathering up the laundry and a cell phone fell out of his pants pocket.  Not his regular cell phone, but another one I’d never seen before.  I started rationalizing right away, maybe he needed it for work, maybe it wasn’t his...it’s crazy what you’ll tell yourself to make it not be true.  I looked at it and there were texts in there that weren’t from me.  Pretty graphic ones, you know? There were women’s names and phone numbers...a bunch of them.  Some of the names I recognized from his job...some I didn’t. 

 

ADAM KENT

Oh geez, that sucks!

 

JULIE

So, there is only two reasons why my husband would need a second cell phone.  He’s either a drug dealer or, he’s a cheater.

 

ADAM KENT

I’m betting on cheater.  What did you do?

 

JULIE

He was in the shower.  I didn’t know what to do.  I just put it back in his pants.

 

ADAM ANDERSON

Oh Jules...I really am sorry…

 

JULIE

Oh it gets better. There were pictures on the phone too. Lots of pictures of women...some of them I didn’t recognize but some of them were women from his office.  Kerrie for one.  Kerrie who came to our wedding.  Who came to my bridal shower.  Naked pictures of her, selfies of the two of them together. I just stood there staring at them.  Then I send a couple of them to my email.    I printed them out, as evidence I guess just in case he got smart enough to delete them.  I have them in my bag.  Do you want to see them?

 

ADAM and ADAM

No! (both shaking their heads and make gestures of not wanting to see the pictures)

 

JULIE

(breaks down crying. Adam Anderson goes to comfort her). 

I’m sorry, I’m sorry...I don’t know why I’m telling you all of this.

 

 

ADAM KENT

Well, if you can’t tell a couple of gay guys about your philandering, no good husband...who can you tell.  What are you going to do?

 

 

 

JULIE

I don’t know yet.  I just found the phone yesterday. But I’ve suspected for a while.  I couldn’t  go to my mother’s.  I was afraid I wouldn’t be able to keep it together.  I wanted to tell my dad on the phone but I didn’t want to ruin Thanksgiving.

 

ADAM KENT

Aren’t you going to confront your husband?

 

JULIE

At first I thought I would.  That’s why I printed the pictures. But would it change anything?  He’s doing what he’s doing and he’s been doing it all along.  I’ve been a mess for the last 24 hours but he hardly even noticed. I’m sure he thinks it’s just PMS.  He’s checking his other phone every five minutes.  I can pretty much guarantee that at some point today he’s going to get a “phone call” and then tell me he got called into work. And why not?  It’s always worked before.   Good old easy going Julie. She’ll believe anything you tell her.  I made it easy for him.  Except now I know better.

 

ADAM ANDERSON

Well, this makes telling my sister I have a live in boyfriend seem like a piece of cake now.

 

ADAM KENT

Ya think?

 

ADAM ANDERSON

I can’t believe Mark would do this.  You guys always seemed really OK, really solid.

 

JULIE

I keep going over and over in my head, what did I do?  What did I not do?  Why? Why would he need other women?  Am I not enough?  I tried.  I tried so hard.  I put everything into this marriage.

 

ADAM KENT

Somehow, I don’t think it has anything to do with you, honey.  It’s not you that’s lacking, it’s him.

 

JULIE

You’re sweet.  You’re sweet to say that. I always knew I would never be enough though.  I knew he was a big flirt and I told myself that’s where it stopped. But what’s that old saying?  Where there’s smoke, there’s fire?

 

ADAM KENT

Yeah, that is really old school.  Today we’d just say he’s a man-whore and be done with it.

 

 

 

JULIE

  You know, the funny part of this whole mess is I never even wanted to get married.  As a kid I mean, I didn’t dream of Prince Charming.  I didn’t spend my time daydreaming about my perfect wedding and my perfect marriage.  I wanted to fly airplanes.  I wanted to travel, to see Europe, India, Africa.  I wanted to move to California! 

 

ADAM ANDERSON

You can still do all those things Julie.

 

JULIE

Then I met Mark and I thought...OK, I can do this instead.  It’s OK.  It’s not what I dreamt of as a child but it’s what everyone expects.  And he was good to me, in the beginning..he was..we were happy...I thought…He told me he loved me every day. I mean why did he get married then?  Why didn’t he just stay single?  Why didn’t I just stay single…

 

 

ADAM KENT

You said it yourself.  It’s what people expect.  It’s why even though most of the world has gotten a lot more liberal and accepting, Adam here is struggling to tell his sister that he has a live in boyfriend. Besides love isn’t words, it’s an action...right Adam?

 

 

ADAM ANDERSON

Yes, you’re right, it is.  Hey, I think we’d better get back inside.  Are you going to be able to handle this?  I mean, can you get through this dinner Julie?

 

JULIE

If Mark can pretend to be a faithful, loving husband while he’s anything but, I can sit through a dinner with my father and his girlfriend and her family.  I can pretend to be OK. I can pretend, just like Mark.  Just for today. Until I figure out what I’m going to do.

 

(The three start heading back into the house)

 

ADAM KENT

Well, I for one am going to glare at Mark through the entire meal!

 

(As they head to the house, Mark enters with his cell phone in his hand. Julie and the the two Adams exchange looks.)

 

 

 

MARK

(to Julie) I was just looking for you. Your dad says dinner’s just about ready.  What are you doing out here?

 

ADAM KENT

Planning a trip to Africa!

 

MARK

What?

 

JULIE